Where Are the Answers?

I think what has disturbed the majority of Americans these last few years, is our confusion over why hate has replaced love, insensitivity has replaced compassion, and lies have become so popular over truth.  We have been jarred out of the illusion that racism had been largely defeated, and that caring for one another was the value of the day.

We have a lot of listening and learning to do about what drives the rage and attack against honesty and integrity, and why so many Christians abandon following Jesus.  Many whom we have positively regarded in the past, have become enigmas, and leave us wondering, “Where has respect gone?”  When did we cross over to start agreeing that the rich and privileged should have their way, preying on the backs of the common man? When did selfishness replace caring for the planet, and money become more important than people?

When did we embrace the idea that sick people can be discarded, that those fleeing violence can be abandoned?  When did we forsake our morals and let fear start to control our decisions?  When did manipulation, bullying, and overpowering become preferable to working together for the good of all?

What I know for sure is that only love conquers fear, that attack breeds attack, and that people learn caring through example.  In our disillusionment over the progress we thought we had made, many of us are left mystified and discouraged, as we realize that consideration for others has given way to a “me first” attitude that only leads to separation and animosity for our brothers and sisters of humanity.

I have learned over the years, that for many of us, we only change when the pain of not changing overwhelms our commitment to the denial that condemning one another is not working.

We must listen to each other’s fears, for only in speaking honestly about what truly bothers us with vulnerability will we ever be reunited to feel the oneness that we are. Humility precedes healing.  When we’re tired enough of the fighting, we will once again try cooperating.  And that, will be our salvation.

Reflections on Life So Far

As I approach my 63^rd birthday this month, I have been spending some time looking backward and seeing the victories, defeats, blessings and graces of a life now likely 2/3 done, wondering both what lies ahead, and evaluating what lies behind.

Drawn to a number of mission fields over the years, not all of which have been easy, I’ve learned that my contributions have been unique, and the longer I live, the more value I see in me.  I’ve had the challenges of overcoming depression, anxiety, financial disaster, bad attitudes, negative people, physical illnesses and accidents, rejection, ridicule, misunderstandings, failures, attacks, thefts, and betrayals.  I’ve been cheated, ripped off, lied to.  My mistakes have been some of my best teachers, and I’ve had the honor of entertaining lots of forgiveness lessons!

Through it all, I have survived.  There have been more successes than failures. Well, perhaps not any failures – just learning opportunities.  I’ve experienced the gift of love countless times over, plucked from disaster by angels of mercy, and granted grace-filled gifts beyond which I could have imagined as a child. 

I’ve learned that I can’t control others, or save them, but I can love them.  I can wish for them, believe in them, invite them, even nudge them, toward peace and joy; yet each one must decide when they are ready for bliss.  I can’t sell them or convince them, like I tried to for so many years, that life is good, and that we are not victims without recourse.  Life does, however, have to be embraced.

I have wept with those whose losses have crushed their lives, shared tears and hugs when tragedies have claimed peoples’ hopes for the future, and rejoiced in the witness of countless miracles.

They say you regret more what you didn’t do than what you did do.  I think that’s true for me.   I don’t think I regret anything I’ve done – except when I’ve hurt people unknowingly.  The only thing I can remember not doing that I regret is not taking piano lessons.  My mom offered them, but I thought I didn’t have time ‘cause I was too busy playing baseball to practice piano.  I had no idea what learning to play the piano could have opened up for me.  I’d love to be playing piano in my free time now.  (Maybe I will still learn!)

I am glad I learned to play the guitar, that I sang in choirs, that I played in a band, that I learned to swim, that I acted in plays, that I gave my all to sports, that I opened myself up to God’s love, that I honored the missions to which I have been called.  I’m glad I took risks when it was scary, and that I noticed every time I lost something I thought was important, something better came into my life.  I’m glad I learned to appreciate life, to look for the positive.  I’m glad I learned that gratitude burns away disappointment and grief, that doing little things for people is really doing big things for people.

Author or co-author of 4 books, 6 careers, 10 businesses, one marriage, two beautiful children, life-changing programs, and a stunning purpose in life now well-appreciated, I’ve learned that my life, with the help of angels unaware, has been of my own making, with strong spiritual guidance and love coming from unexpected sources.

I wonder what I’ll do with what’s left?  I feel wiser, stronger, more fortunate, gifted, clear about how I can still make a difference, and grateful for undeserved kindnesses.  When I have forgotten God, He has not forgotten me.  My commitment to being the best me remains constant, and each day I seek to allow a little more joy into my life.  That’s fun.  J  I see the light in me and in others with much greater ease, and find myself smiling in the awareness that love is all that matters, and every day I get a chance to be it.

Contrary to Public Opinion, the World is Getting Better

Many people depend on the media for education.  This is unfortunate.  The nature of the media is to stun us, not educate us.  Profit comes from drama.  The lead story is often the most shocking news that can be found in the moment.  There’s a saying in the media world: “Good news is no news.”

If we use the media for our education, we could come away feeling the world is getting worse, not better.  However, the opposite it true. *

Here’s a sampling of how things have improved since ‘the good old days’.  Wouldn’t you love to hear news stories about these realities?

In 1800, there were 193 places in the world where slavery was legal.  Now there are only 3.

In 1979, there were 636,000 tons of oil spilled from tanker ships.  Last year, only 6,000.

HIV infections have been cut by more than ½ since 1996.

In 1900, 43% of children born died before their 5^th birthday.  Now, only 4% do.

In 1954, nearly 1/3 of the world’s children age 5-15 worked full time to help support the family.  Now, less than 1 in 10 do.  (Time to go to school! )

Nuclear weapons around the world have been reduced by 74% since 1986.

Ozone depleting substances released into the atmosphere have been reduced by 98% since 1970.

Grain production has tripled since 1961.

There are 60% fewer people on the planet that go to bed hungry at night than in 1970.

Despite what’s happening in the United States, the number of acres of land worldwide that is now protected by National Parks or reserves has doubled since in 1985.

193 countries now allow women to vote, compared to 1 in 1893.

Literacy has increased worldwide from 20% in 1900 to 86% now.

90% of girls around the globe now attend primary school compared to 65% in 1970.

85% of the world now has electricity, and 88% now drink water protected from contamination.

Violent crime in the US has decreased 34% since 1990.

This is not to say there isn’t more to do. (Nearly 1 billion people still do not have clean drinking water.) We must always keep working on improving the world.  But look how far we’ve come!

* These figures are borrowed from the Swedish Gapminder Foundation, dedicated to finding truth independent of the media.

Mercy for our President

As I watch what happens in social media, and the broader media, and in conversations, it seems liberals on the political left appear to be acting much like the conservatives did when Obama was in power. Many dissatisfied with Trump's leadership seem to focus on standing in his way, even destroying him, just like republicans vowed to do when Obama served.

I prayed a lot for Obama, as I'm sure many did. Despite the criticism he faced, Obama pulled the rabbit out of the proverbial hat with many of his astounding accomplishments - cutting the unemployment rate in half, tripling the stock market, pulling us out of the greatest recession our nation has known since the great depression, creating 17+ million jobs, fighting for women, kids, and veterans, health care, seniors, minorities, the environment, etc., all while reducing the national deficit by 60%. He performed miracles against astounding opposition.

Although the temptation is great for those who disagree with Mr. Trump's values to attack him, I can't help but think that praying for Trump would be a better idea for the betterment of life for Americans. Instead of contributing to the negativity, liberals have a chance to ask for from a Higher Power, as we did with Obama, for support in manifesting decisions that will be good for us all, in win-win fashion, rather than the more popular win-lose mentality.

If we truly want our country to be at it's best, and for all Americans to be on the receiving end of blessings, wouldn't it make more sense for us to focus on what we want from our leaders, instead of attacking them all the time?

Despite his public image, I believe Mr. Trump has a heart, but he is so busy defending it, he can't put any energy into showing it. He is not thick-skinned like our previous leader. He is insecure and lost in an ocean he's never swam in before. Surely he needs our help more than he needs us pushing his head under the water. Wouldn't you need the same from those who disagree with you?

The Challenge of Sexual Harassment

As a professional who has provided treatment for sexual assault victims for more than 30 years, it’s been interesting to watch the development of current social awareness and mega-news coverage about the topic.  As I write these words, my heart is heavy, and at the same time, hopeful, that we will come out on the other side of this more sensitive and caring for one another.  What could be more important than that?

I submit the following food for thought for those who might be interested:

1)    Almost every woman I know has been sexually harassed, many of them multiple times throughout their life.  99% of women who speak of being sexually assaulted are telling the truth, and many of them, even when they speak up, still minimize the details of their stories, out of the pain of remembering, or fear of being judged or not being believed.  I’m glad women are coming forward to be heard.  For many, the assaults have deeply impacted their professional, personal and sexual lives more than many men can comprehend.  It is important for all of us to pay attention to this reality.

2)    Not all women are irreparably damaged by sexual harassment.  Some are able to choose not to be offended by the misjudgments of men, seeing the men involved to be immature, confused, or emotional needy. These women do not personalize the actions, and are able to avert life-long hurt and maintain their sense of value, refusing to let being victimized define who they are.  These women are rare, and I always admire their ability to hold their sense of dignity when it has been threatened.

3)    Although it is the exception to the rule, I know that not all women who come forth with stories of sexual assault are telling the truth, and it is important to refrain from judgment of either the accused or the accuser until the stories can be ferreted out to be sensitive to the needs of all involved.  I believe that just as it has been a mistake for us as a society to immediately discount the stories of women as they come forth with their pain, it is also a mistake to immediately judge the accused as guilty as if the story HAS to be true, and that the men involved should be punished without a chance for due process.

4)    It has become entirely possible to ruin a man’s life and reputation, and create havoc and deep personal pain, including causing him to lose his job, simply by telling a story, even if it is untrue. This puts all men at risk of being judged and rejected by society, regardless of their innocence or guilt, simply by an expression of a grievance, anger, or mental illness in a disparaging way.  Generalizing guilt to all men accused can be a serious (but understandable) misjudgment given the intensity of rage justified at those men who have been known to abuse.

5)    I do know from working with men over many decades, that we are often confused about how to express our interest women. We fumble. We are anxious.  We guess.  We try.  We often don’t know we are offending until the offense occurs.  Often attempts to support and express admiration or comfort can be interpreted as unwanted behaviors.  It is important that men learn how to express their interest in women in respectful ways, even though many women think men should already know how to do this. More understanding and information needs to be shared openly between the sexes without the anger attached that men “should” know when a woman wants to be touched, for example, when in reality, both men and women often don’t know how to tell.

6)    I, personally, have experienced a number of women attempt to seduce me by making sexual advances and invitations towards me.  I have not blamed them or been angry at them. I have realized they were not trying to hurt me. I have not sought for them to lose their jobs. I have realized they are just trying to feel good, and I don’t blame them for that.  My response was simply to make myself clear, “You and I will not be doing that.”  When the boundary I have set has been heard and respected, the relationships have often been able to continue within those boundaries, and these women have remained my friends.  For those who could not honor those boundaries, the relationships could not continue.  Not every sexual harassment claim has to cost someone their job or have them ostracized from society, particularly when the accused did not know ahead of time the action would be unwanted, or their support would be interpreted as threatening, or if he/she apologizes and expresses a commitment to learn more.  Forgiveness and understanding is possible in some cases, and I have known both men and women to have made this choice with dignity and honor.

7)    As we sort through this messy topic that has impacted so many people in hurtful and devastating ways, I recommend we not let our anger cloud our evaluation of what is said, but that all involved are honored with the greatest respect for their feelings and chances to respond and recover.  Reconciliation is not possible in all cases, but neither is it advisable that we conclude all cases should be treated with expulsion and punishment without examining the particulars of each situation.

8)    When we villainize men whose infractions have been brought to their attention, apologized in response to the mis-step, and then forgiven by the one sharing their story, we send a message that men must be perfect to be acceptable, that they are unforgivable, and we leave no room for them to grow or change into the men we want them to be.  Vengeance has never led any society forward, and must be watched closely, lest we squash the reconciliation we desire. I believe in accountability, but also question the wisdom of punishing someone who has not hurt us personally, and has already been reconciled with their accuser.  This is us choosing to go to war over a matter that those involved have already chosen peace.

9)    I know that many will criticize me for taking a balanced position on these matters, and that most of those strong reactions will come from those with unfinished anger and pain around personal experiences that cause them to think I am being too soft on protecting women.  They would be mistaken, though, not to understand I have spent most of my life protecting and standing for women (and men) who have been hurt, and will continue to do so, because, quite frankly, they deserve it.

Comments/Discussion welcome.

The Tragedy of Unneeded Tragedies

I was saddened today to hear the news of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s death. What a tragedy that such a talented man would be self-destructive with drugs!  It has happened to so many – Elvis, Marilyn, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston…what is missing in the lives of these incredible human beings, so talented, yet so unhappy?  

Love.  Self-love.  When success and self-doubt rule over self-care and self-acceptance, the seeds of tragedy are sown.  This certainly underscores that success can be fatal, unless accompanied by a clear sense that we’re all equal, that there’s nothing to prove, and that we are loveable just the way we are no matter what the expectations of others. 

 How well are you treating yourself?  As you pursue your success, are you aware it is all a game, and that you remembering who you are (love) is more important than what you accomplish?  Wouldn’t it be a sad thing for any of us to reach the end of our life, and all we have to show for it is a bunch of achievements? 

Do not sell your soul in pursuing your dreams unless you also maintain the commitment that caring for yourself comes ahead of any achievement or fame one could attain.

Where the Rubber Hits the Tarmac

Delta flight 4204 took off from Detroit International Airport for Elmira, New York without a hitch. The stewardess was pretty. She looked something like Barbara Streisand with sharp jawbones and blond hair shaped to accent her face. A guy up front flirted with her while asking for some drinks. I was sitting in row 7 of the Regional Jet, already reading my book, excited to prepare for next week’s study group.

About 20 minutes into the flight, the pilot came over the loudspeaker. “We’re having some trouble with the landing gear. We are going back to Detroit where they have the fire trucks and personnel available to handle our situation.”

Handle our situation? What was our situation? Couldn’t they handle this in Elmira? They don’t have enough fire engines there?

Some time passed and the pilot came on again. “We need to burn off some more fuel before attempting to land back in Detroit. Please remain seated and keep your seat belts buckled.”

The passengers looked at each other with confused faces. What does he mean “attempt to land?” Doesn’t he think we are actually going to land? What could be the reason to burn off more fuel before touching down?

A buzz was building throughout the cabin, and I realized I was making eye contact with nearly every other passenger I could see. It seemed we were all checking out each others’ faces, trying to get clues of how serious the situation was. I remembered what the flight attendant had said about each of us noticing where the nearest emergency exit was. Mine was right behind me.

My seat partner cracked a joke, trying to ease the tension. I, too, turned back to the fellow behind me in row 8, the exit aisle. “Looks like you may get some action,” I said, suggesting he may need to actually do something with that 40-pound exit window the flight attendant had told him he may be needing to handle.

“I’m ready,” he fired back with confidence.

I could see the stewardess up front, talking periodically on the phone, presumably with the pilot, and each time hanging up and managing to look quite relaxed. She knew we were watching her for clues. Was she trained to look calm like this?

I pulled up a few pictures quickly of my wife and daughters on my iPod, and smiled with awareness of my love for them.

I looked at the cover of my book, almost laughing at the irony of its title, Your Immortal Reality. I must admit this was comforting to me in that moment.

I remember being asked one time by a friend if I was ready to die. I found it challenging to answer that question. I didn’t think I was afraid to die, but sometimes I wish I could do some things over, with another chance to get it right. How does one know until you are actually faced with it? After all, none of us knows for sure when we are actually going home.

We could see the flashing lights of the fire engines and ambulances lined up on the runway now.

I noticed the calm in my body and the peace I felt inside. I thought with gratitude about the vast experiences of my life, and realized I had learned a lot this time ‘round. If it was my time to go, I was grateful for the chances I had been given to leave the world a better place than I found it. I had loved, and I had been loved. What else could be more important? There was nothing to fear. I knew I was safely in God’s hands.

As we braced for impact, I was still at peace, and smiling, thanking the Lord for His many mercies.

When the wheels finally hit the runway, it took us only a few seconds to realize the tires were rolling! The landing gear held! The plane came to a stop and we all exited onto the tarmac.

Delta assured us we would be put on another plane as soon as possible. We were. And we were grateful for the care that each employee of Delta Airlines took to assure our safety.

And then I smiled once more, realizing I had been given yet another chance to love again.

(David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C., is a licensed psychologist, life coach, and leadership trainer. He can be contacted at the Institute For Wellness, 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com.)

Great Hope for the New Year!

Most European countries have experienced enough suffering that they are very slow to go to war, as evidenced by their lack of support for our attack on Iraq several years ago. At the time, many of us felt they were shirking their responsibility to support freedom. Since then, we have gained perspective that they that they were supporting freedom; they just weren’t promoting violence as a response to grief and fear.

Paul Harvey once said, “I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.”

This challenges our temptation to hurt back when being hurt. Harvey hoped that what we will learn from those who hurt us that it hurts to be hurt. He hopes we’ll get it that the appropriate response to being attacked is to experience how awful it is to attack someone.

My New Year wish is similar to Paul Harvey’s, that we will see every offending behavior as a teaching tool on how not to offend people. That we will see every disagreement as an opportunity to understand someone better. That we will replace our fear of being hurt with trust that others don’t want to be hurt either. That practicing forgiveness is what we’re here for, and pardon is what turns blemishes into blessings.

What I want for us in the coming year is that we will see our neighbor who belongs to an opposing political party, also belongs to the same human race. I want us to be mindful that the ones whose religion is different from ours is loved just as much by our God as we are, and that He expects us to treat them with compassion and respect. I would have us remember that differences in skin color and cultures are beautiful, that diversity is growth, and that being challenged to give up our old patterns that aren’t working is a gift, not an assault.

I want us to see beyond people’s reactive behavior to the scared person behind the reaction. I want us to see we’re good people even when we act bad, and others are the same.

I agree with the bumper sticker I saw recently that said, “I hope that my child doesn’t kill your child.” May we join our petitions in prayer and our voices in song, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

For me, it could begin with me slowing down to express appreciation to my family. It could begin with me by asking someone who thinks differently than me, “How did you come to that conclusion?” Perhaps it will begin with me refusing to bad-mouth elected officials, even when I abhor what they’re doing. Perhaps it will begin with me remembering the innocence of a baby in a manger, who came to demonstrate peace over winning, understanding over judging, compassion over condemnation, and mercy over punishment.

Then, we will truly have a brand “New Year!”

(David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C., is a licensed psychologist and the founder of the Institute For Wellness. His column appears on alternate Sundays. He can be contacted at 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com.)

From Guilt to Freedom: Getting Our Lives Back

We all make mistakes. We misjudge. We say things that hurt. We make choices in our anger that we later regret. We may think inside, “I didn’t mean it!”, but it’s too late – the action or words cannot be undone.

There is nothing wrong with regretting certain actions or choices. It’s good to see when we’ve hurt people and it’s good to make amends.

For many of us, however, we experience guilt as more than a passing experience tied to a recent event. We seem to get caught in it. Instead of feeling guilty occasionally, we may discover that we visit the Land of Regret frequently. When we do, it is a pattern.

Why do we do this?

For some of us, it may just be habit. We saw it modeled in our childhood home. We may have had a parent that handed out “guilt trips” and we are used to it. When we moved away from home we continued the pattern by guilt tripping ourselves.

Others of us feel guilty because we unknowingly hang on to the belief that the past can be changed. Our guilt arises out of the fantasy that if we continue to feel bad about something, it will erase it, fix it, or will help us find a way to make it better. Although this belief is erroneous, none-the-less, it is still powerful. If we believe the past cannot be changed, we would see no value in continuing to feel guilty, and we would let it go. The truth is we only do what we think will bring us what we want. We often desperately want to change what we’ve done. The hope, the illusion, that the past can somehow be magically changed can live deep within us for many years.

Others use guilt as a way of “paying for” what they’ve done. It’s self-punishment. Inherent in this is a belief that errors deserve punishment, and that it is noble to apply this punishment to ourselves.

Others yet see guilt as a way of trying to change themselves, to motivate themselves to “never do it again.” When we do this we succumb to the unconscious belief that feeling bad has more power to help us make different choices in the future than forgiving ourselves.

So the beginning of managing guilt is this: We must identify what we are intending to accomplish by continuing to embrace it.

If your reason is habit, are you giving up your right to choose what you believe and allowing old family patterns to become your own? How long before you make your own choices consciously? Do you want to keep this habit or discard it?

If your belief is that feeling guilty can change the past, can you let yourself know in a tender and sensitive way that no amount of guilt can change what’s already been done?

If you are one of those who believe that guilt cannot change the past, yet you hang onto it, are you doing this for self-punishment? When will you be punished enough? Do you believe that mistakes need to be punished? How about letting yourself be human and realize the following truth: You always do the best you can in any moment. Once you grasp this, the reason for punishing yourself evaporates, for how could anyone deserve punishment for doing their best?

Are you one who guilts yourself for motivation? Continuing to make yourself feel bad drains you of energy that is needed for you to make better choices in the future. When we feel good about ourselves rather than bad about ourselves, it strengthens our chance of choosing more loving actions the next time around. The positive energy in loving ourselves with forgiveness and tenderness will not only be more powerful, it will feel much better too!

(David Larson, M.S., L.P., C.P.C.C., is a Psychologist and Life Fulfillment Coach. He can be reached at the Institute For Wellness, 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com )

Making the Most of the Time You Have Left

Do all you can, with what you have, in the time you have, in the place you are.

-Nkosi Johnson, twelve year old Zulu boy, living with AIDS

Tom arrived at the local radio station a little late. He was to begin his usual midnight shift as a talk show host.. He was tired, wishing he could just go to bed and sleep like most people do on a Friday night.

“I hope I get some good discussions tonight,” he thought as he checked over last minute responsibilities before going on the air.

The usual conversations unfolded. People having trouble sleeping called in to share their woes, or just talk to pass the time. Some spoke of political concerns or relationship problems. But nothing prepared him for the call he got from Sam just before dawn.

“You see,” said Sam, “I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic,” he told Tom. “The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on the average, folks live about seventy-five years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.”

“It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail,” he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

Sam’s voice became more focused.

“So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away.”

“I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

Tom’s ears were really perked by now.

“Tom, this morning I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday, then I have been given a little extra time. After all, half the people my age are already gone.”

Sam hung up with Tom still a little off balance. He thought about that call the rest of his shift, as sun began to dawn on his own Saturday, and has done the same almost every Saturday since then.

How much time did he have left, he wondered? What was he doing with the present moment he had? Where did he focus his energy and time? If he had a marble jar, how close would he be to his last marble?

How about you?

What would you do tonight, this weekend, if you were on your last marble?

Do it now.

How do you know you haven’t already used your last marble?

What will you do about that?

(Story adapted from an unknown source by David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C. He can be contacted at 507-373-7913, or at his website, http://www.callthecoach.com/.)

Love Never Ends Video

http://gallery.me.com/davidlarson3/100069

Sometimes It's Even Better Than You Expect

Every once in a while, you have one of those experiences you know you’ll never forget.

Such was the case for me in visiting the Palace Grill in Old Town Santa Barbara. A taste of New Orleans in a small California city, they don’t take reservations - you show up and stand outside on the sidewalk, waiting for an opening to appear from a packed house of hungry, delighted souls enjoying a wide variety of Cajun cuisine. No worries, though, as the waiting patronage seems to consist of excitedly friendly folks all anticipating their turn to sample the hot appetizers served cheerfully on the house by a staff voted 22 years in a row as the best in Santa Barbara.

We were greeted and seated at our table by the owner, a black man dressed in a polo shirt and beads, with a smile that made me think he’d been waiting for us all night long. As I pass the large framed paintings of Bourbon Street-type horn players, I notice the fascinating aromas wharfing over the partition of the open kitchen where scrumptious meals are being prepared over open fire. I look up to see a giant shark light fixture beaming a soft light, exposing the smiles of couples romanced by the delectable tastes of flavorful fish, stake, or pasta combinations placed before them by the cheery waiters and waitresses. I look up to see the ace of hearts tacked above my head among assorted cards distributed all over the ceiling.

The first of many servers arrives to give us an assortment of five specialty mini-muffins including orange-apricot, molasses-date, and buttermilk-rosemary. We order a starter of coconut shrimp, which ended up being large enough to be an entree in itself. My Catfish Creole with crawfish was trumped only by Carol’s Chicken Marsala with a vegetable blend consisting of carrots and green squash in a seasoned butter sauce, braised to perfection.

Before finishing our main course, another waitress set down a portfolio next to each of our plates as if she had already prepared our bill. I thought it was a bit early for the check, but we were instructed not to open it until we were told, so we continued our conversation about the delectable tastes of various mushrooms, seasonings, and spices.

At precisely 8 o’clock, the entire staff of waiters, waitresses, chefs, busboys, cooks & greeters paraded out in the dining room scattering themselves as if to make some kind of presentation.

In moment we begin to hear Louie Armstrong’s voice come over the loudspeakers singing “What a Wonderful World” as we are instructed to open our portfolios containing the lyrics to the song and sing along. The entire restaurant bellowed robustly as we were reminded of the many blessings we all have, including the incredible meals we were currently eating. At that moment, I felt “at home,” realizing these servers had just knit together a bunch of strangers who had never met each other, unified in gratitude. The song lyrics were collected and we all continued our in culinary adventures.

A while later, someone broke out in a happy birthday song and the entire dinning room spontaneously joined in to wish the happy soul an inspiring celebration, followed by unanimous applause.

We finished the evening with a bread pudding soufflé with creamed whiskey sauce. We exited the restaurant fully understanding why all those people coming out the front door while we had been waiting to go in were oozing such joy.

It’s as if we had gone in and out of a dream, not sure if what we had just experienced really happened, but the smiles on our faces and the lightness in our hearts gave a clue that the experience was indeed the real thing.

Sometimes life just can’t get any better.

(David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C., is a Licensed Psychologist and Life Coach. He can be reached at 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com)