Many Young People Looking for Integrity in Religion

E. Jean Carroll recently revealed her story (with corroboration) of being raped by President Trump.  There are at least 15 others who have the same experience, namely, Jessica Leeds, Kristin Anderson, Jill Harth, Cathy Heller, Temple Taggart McDowell, Karena Virginia, Melinda McGillivray, Rachel Crooks, Natasha Stoynoff, Jessica Drake, Ninni Laaksonen, Summer Zervos, Juliet Huddy, Alva Johnson, and Cassandra Searles, plus another 22 reporting being sexually harassed by him, in keeping with how he describes his own behavior of preying on women.

Carroll’s account is not pretty, and has been classified in the legal system as “rape.” 

“He lunges at me, pushes me against the wall, hitting my head quite badly, and puts his mouth against my lips. I am so shocked I shove him back... He seizes both my arms and pushes me up against the wall a second time, and, as I become aware of how large he is, he holds me against the wall with his shoulder and jams his hand under my coat dress and pulls down my tights.  The next moment, still wearing correct business attire, shirt, tie, suit jacket, overcoat, he opens the overcoat, unzips his pants, and, forcing his fingers around my private area, thrusts his penis halfway — or completely, I’m not certain — inside me.” 

The support of the Christian right for this behavior, along with general disrespect, abuse, and cover-up in so many other areas, is a example of why religion is being abandoned by our young people. Tessa Landrum reports in a recent article in Kentucky Today, that many of her generation (Gen Z) are finding they want no part of the hypocrisy and lack of integrity demonstrated by many religious positions that promote assaults on women, blacks, LGBTQs, immigrants, those of other faiths, and the poor.  

This gives me hope that the newer generations will not put up with ‘good old boys’ mentality, but rather seek honest and genuine relationships, both personally and professionally, supported by a recognition that true spirituality means we treat each other with respect as equals.

Where Are the Answers?

I think what has disturbed the majority of Americans these last few years, is our confusion over why hate has replaced love, insensitivity has replaced compassion, and lies have become so popular over truth.  We have been jarred out of the illusion that racism had been largely defeated, and that caring for one another was the value of the day.

We have a lot of listening and learning to do about what drives the rage and attack against honesty and integrity, and why so many Christians abandon following Jesus.  Many whom we have positively regarded in the past, have become enigmas, and leave us wondering, “Where has respect gone?”  When did we cross over to start agreeing that the rich and privileged should have their way, preying on the backs of the common man? When did selfishness replace caring for the planet, and money become more important than people?

When did we embrace the idea that sick people can be discarded, that those fleeing violence can be abandoned?  When did we forsake our morals and let fear start to control our decisions?  When did manipulation, bullying, and overpowering become preferable to working together for the good of all?

What I know for sure is that only love conquers fear, that attack breeds attack, and that people learn caring through example.  In our disillusionment over the progress we thought we had made, many of us are left mystified and discouraged, as we realize that consideration for others has given way to a “me first” attitude that only leads to separation and animosity for our brothers and sisters of humanity.

I have learned over the years, that for many of us, we only change when the pain of not changing overwhelms our commitment to the denial that condemning one another is not working.

We must listen to each other’s fears, for only in speaking honestly about what truly bothers us with vulnerability will we ever be reunited to feel the oneness that we are. Humility precedes healing.  When we’re tired enough of the fighting, we will once again try cooperating.  And that, will be our salvation.

Mercy for our President

As I watch what happens in social media, and the broader media, and in conversations, it seems liberals on the political left appear to be acting much like the conservatives did when Obama was in power. Many dissatisfied with Trump's leadership seem to focus on standing in his way, even destroying him, just like republicans vowed to do when Obama served.

I prayed a lot for Obama, as I'm sure many did. Despite the criticism he faced, Obama pulled the rabbit out of the proverbial hat with many of his astounding accomplishments - cutting the unemployment rate in half, tripling the stock market, pulling us out of the greatest recession our nation has known since the great depression, creating 17+ million jobs, fighting for women, kids, and veterans, health care, seniors, minorities, the environment, etc., all while reducing the national deficit by 60%. He performed miracles against astounding opposition.

Although the temptation is great for those who disagree with Mr. Trump's values to attack him, I can't help but think that praying for Trump would be a better idea for the betterment of life for Americans. Instead of contributing to the negativity, liberals have a chance to ask for from a Higher Power, as we did with Obama, for support in manifesting decisions that will be good for us all, in win-win fashion, rather than the more popular win-lose mentality.

If we truly want our country to be at it's best, and for all Americans to be on the receiving end of blessings, wouldn't it make more sense for us to focus on what we want from our leaders, instead of attacking them all the time?

Despite his public image, I believe Mr. Trump has a heart, but he is so busy defending it, he can't put any energy into showing it. He is not thick-skinned like our previous leader. He is insecure and lost in an ocean he's never swam in before. Surely he needs our help more than he needs us pushing his head under the water. Wouldn't you need the same from those who disagree with you?

The Challenge of Sexual Harassment

As a professional who has provided treatment for sexual assault victims for more than 30 years, it’s been interesting to watch the development of current social awareness and mega-news coverage about the topic.  As I write these words, my heart is heavy, and at the same time, hopeful, that we will come out on the other side of this more sensitive and caring for one another.  What could be more important than that?

I submit the following food for thought for those who might be interested:

1)    Almost every woman I know has been sexually harassed, many of them multiple times throughout their life.  99% of women who speak of being sexually assaulted are telling the truth, and many of them, even when they speak up, still minimize the details of their stories, out of the pain of remembering, or fear of being judged or not being believed.  I’m glad women are coming forward to be heard.  For many, the assaults have deeply impacted their professional, personal and sexual lives more than many men can comprehend.  It is important for all of us to pay attention to this reality.

2)    Not all women are irreparably damaged by sexual harassment.  Some are able to choose not to be offended by the misjudgments of men, seeing the men involved to be immature, confused, or emotional needy. These women do not personalize the actions, and are able to avert life-long hurt and maintain their sense of value, refusing to let being victimized define who they are.  These women are rare, and I always admire their ability to hold their sense of dignity when it has been threatened.

3)    Although it is the exception to the rule, I know that not all women who come forth with stories of sexual assault are telling the truth, and it is important to refrain from judgment of either the accused or the accuser until the stories can be ferreted out to be sensitive to the needs of all involved.  I believe that just as it has been a mistake for us as a society to immediately discount the stories of women as they come forth with their pain, it is also a mistake to immediately judge the accused as guilty as if the story HAS to be true, and that the men involved should be punished without a chance for due process.

4)    It has become entirely possible to ruin a man’s life and reputation, and create havoc and deep personal pain, including causing him to lose his job, simply by telling a story, even if it is untrue. This puts all men at risk of being judged and rejected by society, regardless of their innocence or guilt, simply by an expression of a grievance, anger, or mental illness in a disparaging way.  Generalizing guilt to all men accused can be a serious (but understandable) misjudgment given the intensity of rage justified at those men who have been known to abuse.

5)    I do know from working with men over many decades, that we are often confused about how to express our interest women. We fumble. We are anxious.  We guess.  We try.  We often don’t know we are offending until the offense occurs.  Often attempts to support and express admiration or comfort can be interpreted as unwanted behaviors.  It is important that men learn how to express their interest in women in respectful ways, even though many women think men should already know how to do this. More understanding and information needs to be shared openly between the sexes without the anger attached that men “should” know when a woman wants to be touched, for example, when in reality, both men and women often don’t know how to tell.

6)    I, personally, have experienced a number of women attempt to seduce me by making sexual advances and invitations towards me.  I have not blamed them or been angry at them. I have realized they were not trying to hurt me. I have not sought for them to lose their jobs. I have realized they are just trying to feel good, and I don’t blame them for that.  My response was simply to make myself clear, “You and I will not be doing that.”  When the boundary I have set has been heard and respected, the relationships have often been able to continue within those boundaries, and these women have remained my friends.  For those who could not honor those boundaries, the relationships could not continue.  Not every sexual harassment claim has to cost someone their job or have them ostracized from society, particularly when the accused did not know ahead of time the action would be unwanted, or their support would be interpreted as threatening, or if he/she apologizes and expresses a commitment to learn more.  Forgiveness and understanding is possible in some cases, and I have known both men and women to have made this choice with dignity and honor.

7)    As we sort through this messy topic that has impacted so many people in hurtful and devastating ways, I recommend we not let our anger cloud our evaluation of what is said, but that all involved are honored with the greatest respect for their feelings and chances to respond and recover.  Reconciliation is not possible in all cases, but neither is it advisable that we conclude all cases should be treated with expulsion and punishment without examining the particulars of each situation.

8)    When we villainize men whose infractions have been brought to their attention, apologized in response to the mis-step, and then forgiven by the one sharing their story, we send a message that men must be perfect to be acceptable, that they are unforgivable, and we leave no room for them to grow or change into the men we want them to be.  Vengeance has never led any society forward, and must be watched closely, lest we squash the reconciliation we desire. I believe in accountability, but also question the wisdom of punishing someone who has not hurt us personally, and has already been reconciled with their accuser.  This is us choosing to go to war over a matter that those involved have already chosen peace.

9)    I know that many will criticize me for taking a balanced position on these matters, and that most of those strong reactions will come from those with unfinished anger and pain around personal experiences that cause them to think I am being too soft on protecting women.  They would be mistaken, though, not to understand I have spent most of my life protecting and standing for women (and men) who have been hurt, and will continue to do so, because, quite frankly, they deserve it.

Comments/Discussion welcome.

An Introduction to A Course in Miracles

Many are curious about the messages of A Course in Miracles. Here is one way to explain what the Course is about.

Because of the many contradictions that exist in both the New and Old Testaments of the Bible and the TANAKH, and the confusion that results from the lack of consideration of cultural & historical contexts of passages, along with a misunderstanding of translating principles, the message of Jesus (or Jehovah, depending on one's spiritual background) has been convoluted, resulting in more than 20,000 different "Christianities" and many practices of Judaism worldwide. A Course in Miracles is a clarification of of these misunderstandings and a re-focusing on the original messages of Jesus (or Jehovah).

Basic tenets include an understanding that God is Love, and only Love, that we are fully acceptable the way we are, that all apparent "evils" are expressions of fear that we human beings make up, that the Second Coming is awakening to the awareness that we have been misinformed about the nature of God, and that the final judgement is always "Not Guilty."

It is not intended to be a replacement for Christianity or Judaism, or any other religion, but a clarification of God's message for all people. Therefore, it can be embraced by people from any religions and all religions that are aligned with the Love of God.

Because Jesus delivered it in Shakespearian-like Iambic pentameter, the challenge of reading it puts many people off, but many are often drawn back to it by Spirit and the power of it's message, for which every human soul is searching.

For those interested in checking out A Course in Miracles, first reading one of the following books will serve as meaningful introduction to where the Course is headed, and lead to greater understanding of the Course: A Course In Miracles Made Easy by Alan Cohen, The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard, or Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love.

Once absorbing the messages of the Course, one begins to experience miracles on a regular basis. This has certainly been the case for me. It holds the secret to happiness, joy and peace, delivered by the Prince of Peace Himself, and the nearly unfathomable awareness of the depth of God's love that goes far beyond where many religions take us.

Jesus did not come to start a new religion, but he did clarify for us Who God Is, and Who We Are as a result. A Course in Miracles puts an end to fighting and judgement, because we become aligned with what Love really is, that we are one and the same created in His image, and all the reasons for being angry at one another disappear with our illusions of competition, winning, better-than-worse-than, and other dualisms.

In short, it's a ticket to freedom. Not the only ticket, but one very rapid way to get back to uniting with God, an experience which many refer to as "heaven", and one which we need not put off until our perceived death to experience.

Many ideas are challenging for those who already feel they have the "right" answers about God. But as our experience shows, feeling and believing we have the "right" answers is not leading us to Peace, which is evidence itself that we are still missing something. True Peace is effective because it is real. This is an extraordinarily rapid path to getting there. :-)

The Tragedy of Unneeded Tragedies

I was saddened today to hear the news of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s death. What a tragedy that such a talented man would be self-destructive with drugs!  It has happened to so many – Elvis, Marilyn, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston…what is missing in the lives of these incredible human beings, so talented, yet so unhappy?  

Love.  Self-love.  When success and self-doubt rule over self-care and self-acceptance, the seeds of tragedy are sown.  This certainly underscores that success can be fatal, unless accompanied by a clear sense that we’re all equal, that there’s nothing to prove, and that we are loveable just the way we are no matter what the expectations of others. 

 How well are you treating yourself?  As you pursue your success, are you aware it is all a game, and that you remembering who you are (love) is more important than what you accomplish?  Wouldn’t it be a sad thing for any of us to reach the end of our life, and all we have to show for it is a bunch of achievements? 

Do not sell your soul in pursuing your dreams unless you also maintain the commitment that caring for yourself comes ahead of any achievement or fame one could attain.

Jesus was Freedom Fighter, not a Discriminator

The following is a response to a letter to the editor that appeared in the Albert Lea Tribune advocating acceptance of a Minnesota constitutional amendment to prevent gays and lesbians from marrying.

I appreciate Roger M. Nelson’s sincerity in his recent letter to the editor encouraging us to follow Jesus regarding the upcoming marriage amendment. However, I would like to suggest a different point of view from the conclusions he is drawing about what Jesus would have us do.

If Mr. Nelson had consulted his pastor or some other person who understands the nature of the contexts surrounding Bible passages, he may have discovered that the Romans passage he quotes was one that Jesus never read, and if Jesus had, it’s doubtful he would agree with Mr. Nelson’s interpretation of it. Mr. Nelson would have also likely found out that the writer of this passage was not referring to homosexuality as we know it today. In fact, he would have found that there is no word or phrase in the Greek, Aramaic, or Hebrew languages to describe homosexual orientation at all.

The terms used in Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6, and 1 Timothy 1, which many assume refer to homosexuality, are inadequate assumptions lacking in substance, as the Greek terminology used was referring to adult sexual activity with youth and rape, which represent abuses of power and of disrespect, not consensual activity between adults who are expressing love to one another.

I suggest that following Jesus means looking at what he said and did, and then trying to emulate that. Jesus was a liberal who defended the disadvantaged and outcasts of society (like women, prostitutes, the poor, the sick, tax collectors, etc.) from the privileged or conservative and pride-filled religious folk he would often confront (Mark 10:21; Matthew 23:23). We who are Christians would be well-advised that those whom Jesus chastised were often the self-righteous, educated and wealthy people in power who tended to see themselves as superior to those of lesser privilege.

If we want to follow the Jesus of the New Testament, we would do well to focus on feeding the poor, taking care of the sick and protecting the rights of those discriminated against in our society.

In my opinion, the government should not use legislation to prohibit the freedoms of its citizens, but to protect them. I support the right of churches to not marry gays if they wish, but they should not support the government in oppressing any minorities, gay or otherwise.       

I am writing as an invitation for us to examine and follow the Jesus of Matthew 22:35-40 and Matthew 7:1, who calls us out of judgment into acceptance and love.

I join with Mr. Nelson in his enthusiasm in considering how Jesus would vote on this amendment and also caution us to be careful about what we determine that means.

I, for one, will stand with the Jesus who defends his loved ones under attack from those who think it their calling to judge and control others. I will instead choose to support and accept those needing my embrace.

I will vote “no” on the upcoming amendment.

Following Jesus Means Love Trumps Judgment

Throughout our history, we Christians have had difficulty agreeing on what Jesus is really calling us to do.  Many times, we have used the Bible to condemn behaviors different from our own.

In the 1930’s and 40’s, some Christians uncomfortable with playing cards defined such as sinful.  In the 50’s, Christian used the Bible to proclaim dancing as taboo (Exodus 32: 19-21, 31).  In the 60’s & 70’s, you were sinning if you married a divorced person (Matt. 5: 31, 32). In the 90’s and 2000’s  - and still today - some Christians use the Bible to condemn homosexuals (Rom. 1: 26, 27). 

How we understand the Bible changes over time.  And it should.  If we are truly becoming more like Christ, as we move forward to mature in our faith, we will change. We will grow. We will become more like Him – more loving, more accepting, more welcoming of those different from ourselves.  As He demonstrated with the Woman at the Well (John 4), Zaccheaus (Luke 19), the Woman Caught in Adultery (John 7:53ff), and those crucifying him (Luke 23:34), this was His role-modeling.  Christians today who truly want to follow Him seek to spend less time judging, more time forgiving, less time excluding, more time including, less time rejecting, more time accepting.

For most Christians, it is no longer sinful to play cards, dance, or marry a divorced person.  Within a few years, most Christians will no longer consider it sinful to be homosexual.  We will instead refuse to participate in Sodom and Gomorrah’s sin (Ezekiel 16:49), and become ever more compassionate to those different from ourselves.

This will be a good thing.  Jesus prayed that we would all be One as He and His Father were One (John 17:9-11).  This can only happen when we stop our judging of others (Matt 7:1) and see us all as Children of God. 

Many gays are devout Christians.  Many of those who aren’t do not participate because when they sought the love of God in church, they could not find it there.

We all have the same Source, the same Creator.  And God does not condemn any of His children. Indeed, as Jesus said, “none have been lost” (John 17: 12).

The Prodigal Father  (Luke 15:20) was not interested in how the younger son was different from the older son. He was only interested in welcoming him home.  As we become more like the Jesus we follow, we too will be less concerned about judging others who are different, and more concerned about warmly accepting everyone into our midst.

I believe Jesus smiles as we become more like Him - when we recognize his Greatest Commandment  (Matt. 22: 36-40) trumps any other rule we may be compelled to embrace.

I share in Jesus’ hope that we will shed the responsibility we feel to be judges of each other. As we drop this judgment, we will finally become One, living the love of Jesus with all.

Where the Rubber Hits the Tarmac

Delta flight 4204 took off from Detroit International Airport for Elmira, New York without a hitch. The stewardess was pretty. She looked something like Barbara Streisand with sharp jawbones and blond hair shaped to accent her face. A guy up front flirted with her while asking for some drinks. I was sitting in row 7 of the Regional Jet, already reading my book, excited to prepare for next week’s study group.

About 20 minutes into the flight, the pilot came over the loudspeaker. “We’re having some trouble with the landing gear. We are going back to Detroit where they have the fire trucks and personnel available to handle our situation.”

Handle our situation? What was our situation? Couldn’t they handle this in Elmira? They don’t have enough fire engines there?

Some time passed and the pilot came on again. “We need to burn off some more fuel before attempting to land back in Detroit. Please remain seated and keep your seat belts buckled.”

The passengers looked at each other with confused faces. What does he mean “attempt to land?” Doesn’t he think we are actually going to land? What could be the reason to burn off more fuel before touching down?

A buzz was building throughout the cabin, and I realized I was making eye contact with nearly every other passenger I could see. It seemed we were all checking out each others’ faces, trying to get clues of how serious the situation was. I remembered what the flight attendant had said about each of us noticing where the nearest emergency exit was. Mine was right behind me.

My seat partner cracked a joke, trying to ease the tension. I, too, turned back to the fellow behind me in row 8, the exit aisle. “Looks like you may get some action,” I said, suggesting he may need to actually do something with that 40-pound exit window the flight attendant had told him he may be needing to handle.

“I’m ready,” he fired back with confidence.

I could see the stewardess up front, talking periodically on the phone, presumably with the pilot, and each time hanging up and managing to look quite relaxed. She knew we were watching her for clues. Was she trained to look calm like this?

I pulled up a few pictures quickly of my wife and daughters on my iPod, and smiled with awareness of my love for them.

I looked at the cover of my book, almost laughing at the irony of its title, Your Immortal Reality. I must admit this was comforting to me in that moment.

I remember being asked one time by a friend if I was ready to die. I found it challenging to answer that question. I didn’t think I was afraid to die, but sometimes I wish I could do some things over, with another chance to get it right. How does one know until you are actually faced with it? After all, none of us knows for sure when we are actually going home.

We could see the flashing lights of the fire engines and ambulances lined up on the runway now.

I noticed the calm in my body and the peace I felt inside. I thought with gratitude about the vast experiences of my life, and realized I had learned a lot this time ‘round. If it was my time to go, I was grateful for the chances I had been given to leave the world a better place than I found it. I had loved, and I had been loved. What else could be more important? There was nothing to fear. I knew I was safely in God’s hands.

As we braced for impact, I was still at peace, and smiling, thanking the Lord for His many mercies.

When the wheels finally hit the runway, it took us only a few seconds to realize the tires were rolling! The landing gear held! The plane came to a stop and we all exited onto the tarmac.

Delta assured us we would be put on another plane as soon as possible. We were. And we were grateful for the care that each employee of Delta Airlines took to assure our safety.

And then I smiled once more, realizing I had been given yet another chance to love again.

(David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C., is a licensed psychologist, life coach, and leadership trainer. He can be contacted at the Institute For Wellness, 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com.)

Lessons of Christmas Learned

Circa 2110

“Tell me a story about the old days, Papa,” asked Jeremy, who Grandpa liked to call ‘Snapper’.

“OK, Snapper, let’s see…I know it may be hard for you to believe now, but there was once a time when people depended on war to settle their disagreements.”

“What’s a war?” Jeremy asked curiously.

“A war is when people use guns and bombs to destroy their enemies in order to get their way” responded the old-timer.

“But, Papa, didn’t they know that loving others is what helps people heal their differences?”

“I know it’s obvious to you young people these days, but we hadn’t learned the way of love yet. Many years ago there was a time when we grown ups got so angry at each other, we judged, attacked and hurt one another.”

“But why?”

“Because we were afraid. We didn’t understand that when someone harmed us, it was because our friend-to-be was hurting inside himself, and needed the understanding of a compassionate soul to free him from his pain.”

“You mean like when Peter pushed me?”

“Yes, Snap. I remember he shoved you in the hallway, and you fell and broke your ankle.”

“Ya, he had just failed another math test and he was really scared of his dad’s reaction. Besides, he was lonely, and didn’t know how to make friends. I think it just built up in him.”

“Yes, that’s the way it is with all people,” summed Papa. “Many years ago there used to be terrorists who would attack our country, and we thought they were bad people. So we wanted to kill them in return. We didn’t know they were just feeling overwhelmed by fear put in them by misguided men, and they were frightened we weren’t paying attention to their need for food, schools, medical care and such. In those days, we didn’t get it that feeling hopeless leads to violence and these men needed our understanding and forgiveness.”

“You might remember there was a time we kept people with dark skin as prisoners, and didn’t see their pain. We called them slaves. They eventually forgave us and helped us change.”

“Oh, ya. I remember now.” the boy said thoughtfully. “And before that, our ancestors invaded the new continent, overpowered most of the natives, and stole the land.”

“Yes, we killed between 7 and 12 million Native Americans then.”

“Because we were scared, right?”

“Yep. And because of greed, which is just another form of fear. Believe it or not, there was time when we wanted something, we just took it. We had guns and they didn’t, so we could overpower them and get our way. It didn’t enter our minds then that they were important people just like anyone else.”

Papa continued, “Every race has struggled to be accepted at one time or another. Sometimes it was the Jews, sometimes Hispanics, sometimes Asians. immigrants of every kind came to what we then saw as “our” country and some people wanted to keep them out. You know why by now, buddy…”

“Scared, right?”

“You got it. Anyway, it took us a long time to understand what Jesus meant when he said, “Love one another, as I have loved you.”

“Wow, that’s sad, Papa. You know, when I told Peter I was sorry he had a rough time on that test and listened to how tough things were at home, I could tell he saw me differently. My body healed, but more important, our relationship healed.”

“Yes, and I’ve noticed that’s the way you treat everyone now.”

“Papa?”

“What, Snapper?”

“I’m glad we’ve learned to love and be sensitive to what people need. The world’s such a peaceful, warm place when we remember everyone is God’s child and we’re here to share what we have with others who have less.”

“Yep, when Jesus came to earth, he came not just for white people or rich people, or people who had learned to treat others with sensitivity and caring. He came for the outcasts, the lonely, the disadvantaged, the hurting, and those who had not yet learned how to love others. Since then, your generation has learned how to do that. To us old folks, it’s a mighty pretty picture.”

“Thanks, Papa.”

“You’re welcome Snapper. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Papa. I love you.”

“Thanks, Snap, I know. You love everyone,” he said with a nod. “Just the way Jesus wanted it…”

(David Larson is a Licensed Psychologist and Personal Life Coach. He can be reached at the Institute for Wellness at 507-373-7913 or at his website, www.callthecoach.com )

Voting Your Faith

Following Jesus is what I live for. Jesus was a liberal, an extraordinary one for His time; even for ours. Defending women, supporting children, confronting those who would judge or condemn minorities, fighting for equality and respect for all human beings, loving all, and forgiving everyone, Jesus presents for us a challenging calling.

I have noticed one political party seems to live out these values more readily than the other. One stands up for the disadvantaged, protecting the less fortunate from the more powerful, encouraging sharing wealth rather than hording it individually, seeks to provide better education for our children, providing homes to the homeless, food to the hungry and medical care to those who need it, and confront abusers of minorities.

The other often fights against these causes, supporting and defending the well-off at the expense of the middle class and poor, works to defeat education funding, supports big oil, fights against environmental concerns, and promotes prejudice and attack against minorities, especially if they come from another country or have a different sexual orientation than their own.

I want truth instead of cover-up, peace instead of war, freedom from verbal, emotional or physical attack instead of self-righteousness, and a caring for God’s great creation of the earth and our fellow human beings. I want consideration for others instead of “looking out for number one,” compassion towards others instead of judgment, looking to needs of our neighbors instead of keeping our riches to ourselves. I want sensitivity to the one another’s circumstances, striving to help rather than excluding others, to be welcoming instead of rejecting, to give people freedom to be as God created them, to believe what makes sense to them instead of needing them to be like me.

There is an openness in one Party that attracts me, in the same way I am attracted to Jesus. There is a harshness and coldness in the other major Party that seems quite unlike Jesus. It often confuses me when Christians of one party attack Christians of the other Party as if they are on the wrong side. Is it possible God loves both Democrats and Republicans equally?

There is a hymn that exhorts, “They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love” of our fellowman. (Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela) We will not be recognized as followers of Jesus by how we hate our fellowman (Beck, Limbaugh).

Jesus made his message as clear as he could when he told us the most important things in life are, “Love the Lord your God…and your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt:22:36-39)

Mudslinging against gracious politicians, destroying the land, polluting the air, misrepresenting facts, abusing power, condemning - even killing - gays, blacks, Muslims, Jews, hispanics, instead of responding to their need, is diametrically opposed to following Jesus.

Loving, forgiving, responding to, welcoming, praying for, serving, fighting for, speaking out to protect, giving to, and wishing everyone the blessings we have ourselves - IS following Jesus.

Which Party reflects that for you?

Everything Is Energy

Different Styles of Teaching: Which Style Are You?

In the 1880’s there lived a rich rancher who was not a particularly spiritual dude. Although he claimed to be a Christian, his actions in the world made this claim a questionable one

One day a poor farmer who had no food sneaked on to the rich farmer’s land and stole a chicken so his family could eat. He was caught by the ranch hands and brought to the rancher. The rancher had little patience for him and said, “Hang ‘im! It’ll teach ‘im a lesson!”

A couple years later, a man from Mexico was trespassing on the rancher’s land. He was very poor and hoping to find a new life. Instead, what he found was the rancher’s men, who brought him to the rancher. With a snap judgment, the rancher said, “Hang ‘im! It’ll teach ‘im a lesson.”

There were many episodes in the rancher’s life like this, in which he never stopped to put himself in other people’s shoes, but simply reacted in anger and judged and condemned them, usually ending with the phrase, “Hang ‘im. It’ll teach ‘im a lesson.”

Then one night the rancher died and saw himself going up to the gates of heaven. The rancher was hoping no one would recognize him and maybe he could just walk in. But just before he got to the gate, St. Peter stepped in front of him and said, “Wait a minute, Jesus wants to talk to you.”

Now the rancher was very worried. He remembered some of the things he had done in his life, and there he was, about to be judged by Jesus himself! For the first time, the rancher was shaking in his boots. Jesus appeared, walked slowly up to the rancher, looked him in the eyes, and then said to St. Peter, “Forgive ‘im. It’ll teach ‘im a lesson.”

*******

If we have been hurt by someone, let this be a year that instead of hurting back, we forgive, and become more like Jesus. It’ll teach ‘im a lesson.

If this be a year when those with less come to us for help, a chance to work, are down on luck, or are in need of our support, let’s be understanding and compassionate, and do our best to lend a hand. It’ll teach ‘im a lesson.

Remember those who mistreat us are acting from fear or ignorance. They are not treating us as we deserve to be treated, so let’s teach them how by “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.” They will not learn from our condemnation or judgment. They will learn from our example.

This year, let’s choose the higher path. This year, let’s change ourselves more than trying to change others. This year, as the great Gandhi said, let’s “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

It will require grace and empathy. It will require looking for what’s good in others. It will require using our anger to drive us into being more loving, not less. It will require us becoming more passionate about being compassionate with those we meet at work, at home, or in the community. It will require forgiveness.

Let’s go for it. “It’ll teach ‘em a lesson.”

(Story adapted from Gary Renard’s Your Immortal Reality. David Larson is a psychologist and life coach. He can be reached at 507-373-7913 or at his website, www.callthecoach.com.)

Holiday Stress: Keeping the Joy of the Season

It is the Season of “Good News of great joy, which shall be to all people.”

Yet for many, it doesn’t feel that way. Even those who anticipate great fun over the Holidays will often feel run down, overstuffed, and worn out by the time Christmas arrives. Being on the go, trying to fill others’ expectations, even trying to fill our own, can leave us feeling pretty empty and tired by the time the ball drops to usher in the New Year.

Some of the most common stressors during this great time of Holiday Cheer include the following:

• Making “getting everything done” the primary goal, rather than the fun of shared activities.

• Sad memories of someone who is no longer near or of holidays when times were better.

• Unrealistic expectations such as hoping this year will finally be the one Uncle Harry doesn’t have too much to drink, or that we can give everyone what they want for Christmas even through resources may be tighter this year.

• Assuming too much responsibility to make the Holidays perfect for loved ones; wanting everyone to be happy so we can be happy.

• 
  Emphasizing gifts, decorating, and meals, and forgetting that people are more important than things, events, or tasks.

• Feeling isolated or alone being drawn back into family get-togethers that carry unpleasant memories of days gone by.

You and I can make sure this doesn’t happen to us this year! Here are some tips for keeping the jolly in your holly.

• Don’t expect perfection. If it comes, great! But if the turkey burns, or the car breaks down, or if you get snowed in somewhere, or you can’t find the gift you wanted to give, remember that life is a blessing. You made it this far. And don’t forget to laugh at yourself!

• Share the workload. Don’t forget to ask for help. You are not single-handedly responsible to make everything work. Be happy for what you do get done, and don’t worry about the rest.

• Remember the love of your loved ones will never die. You can never lose love. Papa’s form may have changed, but his love is always with you.

• Learn to say “no” on occasion – to that extra cookie, that extra helping of potatoes, that party invitation that pushes your schedule a bit too much. Get plenty of sleep. In fact, fall asleep counting your blessings, not your problems.

• Remember the choice of remaining joyful is yours. It is not dependent on anyone else doing what you want them to do. Hang onto the spirit, even if others get grumpy.

• Keep your eyes on the Reason For the Season. It’s not so much about us creating the perfect Christmas as it is about remembering it’s already perfect because of the gift of the Christ Child. Remember, Jesus came into a mess, without lights and fanfare, with a quiet message of “good news, which shall be to all people.” Let the Savior into your heart, and receive the love predestined to be yours long ago.

(David Larson, MS, LP, CPCC, is a psychologist and life fulfillment coach. He can be reached at the Institute for Wellness, 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com . )

Love in Action: Can a Nation Learn from a Church?

Recently I attended a gathering of my church, the Southeastern MN Lutheran Synod Assembly, where representatives of 184 congregations came together to discuss what we believe and why, and sort through challenging issues of our day in light of the Christian faith we share.

In one resolution this year, Lutherans are considering a Recommendation on Ministry Policies to allow non-celibate gay or lesbian persons to serve as ordained pastors in the Church, if called by a congregation to do so. There would be no religious sanction in favor of nor restriction against allowing such a pastor to serve, and individual congregations would not be required by anyone else's proclamation to accept or reject gays. Each congregation and each bishop is supported in being bound by their own conscience to do what they think is right, without forcing any other congregation or bishop to respond in the same way.

This is a compromise of sorts, as the Lutheran Church has struggled with how to reconcile sacred scriptural texts with the realities of human experience.

Those who are familiar with the Christian faith know of the Scriptures such as Romans 13:10, “Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love fulfills the law," I John 4:7-8, "He who loves is born of God and knows God; he who does not love does not know God, for God is love," and Matt 22:36-39, where when Jesus was asked by the Pharisees to sum up his message in a concise statement, gave us "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Jesus did seem to spend much of his life showing us what that love meant: including people, welcoming, forgiving, supporting, encouraging, giving hope. One need only remember his protection of the prostitute who was to be stoned according to the “law” for sleeping with someone who was not her husband, or his encounter with Zacchaeus the crooked tax collector, or his association with nobody fisherman - to know that for Jesus, love meant accepting, not condemning; confronting judgment, not participating in it; and believing in the capability of all human beings to be of service, to be capable of love.

Some disagree with this understanding of Jesus, citing passages such as Lev. 18:22, Rom 1:26-27 or I Cor. 6, 9-10, all of which have been used by some faithful Christians to justify excluding, judging, and rejecting their brothers and sisters who are gay.

Thankfully, the brilliance of the Lutheran Church's Recommendation, which acknowledges the varied and often opposing passionate perspectives of Christians from both sides of the issue, calls us to be sensitive to each other's feelings. It places unity of spirit ahead of agreement on social issues, and honors the sincerity of each Christian's faith, despite different personal points of view. In this way, all are respected for their opinions, and we live the love of giving freedom to others, not controlling them. This approach allows us to continue to worship, commune, pray and support each other in living out the life and love of Jesus as each of us feels called to do, regardless of our differences. In this document, Lutherans agree to disagree.

Although Christians on neither side of this issue 'win” over the other, we remain respectful of the traditions, insights and revelations given each of us in our relationship to God. We stop fighting.

What we do end up agreeing on is that our love for each other trumps needing to have others see it our way. Caring becomes more important than being right. God's children with gay orientation not only have a chance to come “home,” but are allowed to love and serve their Creator as fervently and passionately as straights. Those opposed to welcoming gays are not forced to do so, but allowed to follow their own conscience as well. Instead of making one group wrong or right over the other, it is Love that wins, for the benefit of everyone.

Perhaps we as Americans can learn from the Lutheran Church. As fellow citizens, no matter what our positions on immigrants, poverty, taxes, or any other issue that divides us, we can come together acknowledging we are all Americans, all brothers and sisters of the same nation. In fact, it would do well for us to remember we are all citizens of the same world, all needing to be heard, loved, and kept in the family.

It is uncertain whether the Recommendation discussed here will pass at the National Church Assembly in August. But I treasure the attempt we are making to keep the love of Jesus foremost, ahead of dissenting personal beliefs about a subject on which disagreement still abounds.

May Grace rule our hearts, challenge our thinking, and guide our behavior.