I was having a particularly difficult day. You know, one of those where everybody wants you at the same time, unexpected invoices appear in your mailbox, and your body is aching due to a few bad choices from the previous day. Although it seemed I was getting three phone messages for every one I could return, I took the next call when the phone rang in front of me. A friend was on the other end of the line.
I whined a bit about my plight, blowing off a little steam. After a bit, she said, “Well, I guess today you’ll have to be happy for no reason.”
It was one of those moments when I was stopped in my tracks. It jarred me out of my illusion that the world was conspiring against me. My friend was reminding me that my joy is not dependent on what the world is dishing out at any particular time. I was reconnected with the truth that I bring my attitude to whatever is happening, not the other way around.
I know, sometimes its more fun to stay deluded. If I can blame you, the world, or God for what is going on or not going on in my life, perhaps I can dump my bad mood and pass it along to someone else. At times, it seems easier than taking responsibility to remember my attitude is the one thing I DO have control over.
Yes, sometimes it feels like more work to admit that it’s up to me to decide how I will view what comes my way. But this is usually followed by the energizing realization that being responsible for my self is very good news for precisely the same reason - I am in full control of changing my life, and no one can stop from doing so. Wow! Now that IS good news!
If you need to renew your commitment to being responsible for your attitude, where do you begin? Here are a few suggestions:
(1) Starting with a few memorized affirmations will get you out of the gate. Set your watch to beep at the top of every hour and repeat the following to yourself: “I am in control of my future. I am not a victim. I make choices that improve my life, every day, every hour.”
(2) Make a pact with a friend that you will call each other on your negative attitudes. Whenever either of you hears the other slipping into negativity, agree to remind each other that you’re committed to something different now - a new life focused on happier thoughts. With any rose, we can focus on the soft, colorful petals, or the sticky thorns. We are choosing to put more energy into noticing the petals.
(3) Keep a journal of things you are thankful for. Write in it every day. One minute a day will change your life. All of us experience disappointments, but don’t let that keep you from recalling the many things that are good in every moment. Most of us can be grateful our eyes still see, our heart still beats, there is food in the refrigerator, we are blessed with a job (or will be soon), and somebody always loves us (God, if no one else).
Even if these things are not sufficient, join me in resorting to the decision: “I will choose to be happy for no reason, and face the world from that place.”
If you need more help with this, there is even a book out titled Happy for No Reason, filled with support to reclaim your personal power to feel good.
Things are looking up! Are you?
(David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C., is a Licensed Psychologist and Life Coach. He can be reached at 507-373-7913, or at his website, www.callthecoach.com .)
