World Peace Hints from the Dali Lama

Listening to the Dali Lama this week, I became more aware of cultures and religions around the world and how they contribute to either war or peace.

No country is perfect, and no religion is perfect, yet there do appear to be some themes over the years that provide insight.

Buddhism, based on a theme of peace and respect for human beings and all of life, has been one of the more peaceful religions of the world for centuries. Tibet and other Asian countries like Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and countries like Costa Rica and Switzerland, have lived fairly consistently through the centuries (or at least have learned from their histories), and remain today, countries of peace.  

Buddhists study compassion and logic. Western countries, often based in Christianity, tend not to learn from their history, and large segments of society devalue study and logic in favor of emotional and judgmental responses.

The only way to create world peace is through inner peace. Otherwise we project our inner violence outward. Meditation is rare in the Western world. Threrefore inner peace is rare, and it follows outer peace is rare.

Buddhism has at it's core a concern for others rather than claiming rights. The Buddhist concentrates on developing the mind/spirit as opposed to "modern education" with its emphasis on thinking rather than connecting with God, Love, and wisdom of the heart (peace).

Buddhists tend to manage fear and suspicion much better than westerners, who have their thinking based in a more violent religion. The Crusades, Hitler's Germany, the slaughter of Native Americans, and even recent conservative Christianity with its attack on kindness, love, sexual orientation, and emphasis on racism and exclusion, are examples of how we tend to promote violence rather than peace.

Americans, in particular, often find themselves fighting with each other rather than cooperating for the good of all. (Think of the military budget of the United States, which exceeds the combined military budgets of the next 12 most military-enhanced countries of the world combined together. We also seem to pride ourselves in owning and distributing more than 1/2 of the world's guns to our citizens, finding comfort thinking violence will protect us from what we fear.)

Thankfully, there are still many Christians in the United States that seem to promote the ideas of compassion, inclusion, respect for life, and concern for fellow humans as core to their faith. This is where Christianity meets Buddhism and other religions of the world that focus on minimizing self-centeredness and are focused on caring for others.

I would be curious to hear from non-violent Christians and also Buddhists who are more familiar with their faith than I am. A respectful and non-attacking dialogue is encouraged.

I think the main takeaway for me from the Dali Lama's recent remarks is that if we want peace in the world, we have to create in within ourselves. What cultures and religions contribute to that end? How are you personally doing this for you?

People Speaking in Code

 I woke up this morning a little "achy" from a day of extensive digging in the landscaping yesterday.

It would have been easy for me to complain about how my body was hurting, not responding the way I would have it be in my imagination.

Then I "listened" to what my body was trying to say. I decided what it wanted was some stretching! It wasn't trying to attack me. It wasn't betraying me. It wasn't trying to make my life hard.

It wanted attention, nurturing.

So I stretched.

As I listened more, I heard it request a soak in the tub to relax and restore my muscles.

That's what it got.

Guess what? It's no longer screaming for my attention. I listened beyond the moaning to what it was needing and responded.

(Carol with some of the rocks we dug out of the ground to make room for plants)

Then I thought of how often I interact with humans who are cranky and a bit irritable. They aren't always out to get me. They aren't necessarily trying to be cruel. They aren't nasty or trying to take something from me.

They're asking for love. They want me to hear what they're not saying in my language. Their pain represents a need for which they don't often know how to ask me directly for help.

So, today, I will look for how circumstances that might seem unpleasant on the surface, are an opportunity for me to hear an expression of suffering, a request for help.

Seems like a way I can be of service, instead of bothered by those who, as one of my clients once said, "are speaking in code".

They speak in code because they don't know how to ask. They are hoping I am better at listening than they are at asking.

Their whining, complaining, gossiping, and other expressions of pain, are calling me to a higher awareness, to being a better person, more compassionate, more understanding.

How does your body talk to you? Tiredness,? Fatigue? Aches and pains? Relxation? Calm? Do you know its “foreign” language? What is it needing from you? Rest? Nourishment? Water? Exercise? ? Less sugar? A Nap?

How do your fellow humans speak to you in a language you may miss? What does their negativity say? Their whining? Their agony? Their complaining? Can you hear the language they’re speaking? Can you hear what they’re asking for when they don’t know how to ask for it? Remember, a complaint always has a hidden request in it. Do you hear the request, or judge the language the person is using to express it?

My goal is to listen better this week.

How to See Heaven on Earth

Most of the world does not understand that we are One. 

That is why when we attack others internally with our thoughts, or externally with our words, we also feel attacked.  In fact, we feel so attacked, that we use that feeling to justify having attacked others.  And so we are caught in an endless exchange of verbal and emotional assaults.  We create our own hell.

 

It is because we are One that when I judge you as ‘wrong’, I also feel like you think I’m ‘wrong’.

 

When I focus on what I see as your weaknesses, I seem to have anxiety that you will see mine.

 

If I see you as guilty, I will feel like you have judged me.

 

It is because we are One that:

 

When I give you peace, I feel peaceful as well.

 

When I celebrate you, I feel like I’m part of the celebration.

 

When I lighten your load, I feel lighter too.

As A Course in Miracles teaches us, “All that I give is given to myself.” (Lesson 126)

 

We do not stop hate by hating.  We do not get rid of ‘badness’ by judging each other as bad.  We do not feel relief by condemning.

 

We feel grace when we give grace.  We feel the impact of forgiveness when we give forgiveness.  When I seek to cheer you up, I cheer up myself.

That is because we are One.  Everything comes from us, and comes back to us.

 

We think our interactions are with others.  That is an illusion.  All of our interactions with others have the impact of us interacting with ourselves. 

 

Whatever I give, I get.  It’s why those who hold grudges never find happiness.  It’s why those who withhold freedom from others, are always never quite feeling free enough themselves.  It’s why those who complain see complaint everywhere.  It’s why those who are angry inside, see so much anger in the world.

 

It’s why when you buy someone else a meal, you always experience one coming back to you.  It’s why when you join a committee to serve, you are blessed by the relationships of others who serve with you.

 

And it is why those who love unconditionally, experience the awareness that they cannot be out-given, and that the more they give, the more they feel like they have enough.

 

Welcome to heaven.

It's True. The Truth Sets Us Free

Those of us in the United States remember our country was built on a desire and passion for freedom. Yet I notice many do not feel free these days - free from fighting with one another, free from angst, from fear. We are victims of our own anger and projection of our shortcomings. We are bombarded, consumed with tension, chaos, and attacking one another. We miss friends and family from which recent events have separated us, both physically and emotionally. We long for times when our dream of love and peace, of security and good-will, of cooperation and mutual caring are the rule.

A guy revered by many, Jesus, once said, "The truth will set you free." And it is in resisting truth our problem lies.

Not surprisingly, Jesus' comment meshes with one of the Course In Miracles lessons (#27), "Above all else, I want to see."

If we want to escape the world of self-created suffering, we must be willing to see the truth. Our egos tempt us to believe 'only I have the truth', 'I'm right and you're wrong', and 'If you would change, everything would get better." If each of us insists that only we have the truth, we will stop looking for it, and we will not find it.

We all know people who are not open to learning what they don't know. They are frustrating to be with, aren't they? We cannot overcome the fears people have of facing the truth. What we can do is insist on being committed to seeing the truth ourselves - and, with those who are open, have a commitment to finding it together. That is the path to freedom.

In order to do this, we must set aside our prejudices, what we've been taught in the past, our allegiances to hanging onto what we believed before was right, and be open to the search. We must see people as innocent, troubled, bound by fear, too frightened that the truth will destroy them, when they do not yet know the truth will set them free. If you're one of those who thinks the truth doesn't matter, or that you can't really find out the truth, or are committed to what you or others have made up is the truth without checking it out, it is one way you seal yourself off from the happiness you desire. We think being right will set us free, but no, it is the truth that will set us free. If we are not willing to challenge our own beliefs, we can never enjoy experiencing our connection as siblings in the same family of the God who created us all.

In order for freedom to reign in this county, we must find a way to agree on how to determine the truth, or we cannot unite around it. We must be willing to explore together how to find out what the truth really is. The only way this is possible is if each one of us loosens the grip on our ego, and commits to finding the truth, to be open that our perceptions of the past may have been incomplete. We must be willing to drop our defenses, look for what is, even if it's uncomfortable, if we are to win back our freedom.

Today I commit to search for the truth, and invite all human beings to join me. In doing so, we will finally set ourselves free.

Confessions of a Growing Human Being

January 2, 2021

There was a session in my personal therapy back in the 80’s which became transformative – it changed the trajectory of my life forever.

 

The dynamic moment occurred in the treatment of my depression, where my therapist pointed out that unless I left my mother behind, I would never recover.

 

This was frightening to me.  It was also liberating for me.  I realized that day that I had been holding myself back from being happy because my mother was stuck in her own depression, and I did not want to move on and abandon her without hope.  After all, I thought, I was one of the few people who could help her.  I had given her many suggestions, ideas, insights, support, and truth-telling from my point of view – yet she would not grab onto any of it.  I was maintaining my own depression by thinking there must be something more I could do to release her from hers, and therefore waiting for her to come along on my journey to happiness.

 

The truth became clear that day.  I could not change her.  I could not rescue her.   I could not wait for her. I could not save her.  If and when she was ready for change, she had to invest in herself.  She was the only one who had the power to free herself.  I was waiting no more.

 

That day, through the tears, I let go, and I began to recover.

 

I feel like I am at another crossroads, as we enter into a new era of 2021.  I spent much of last year wanting to free my friends from the darkness, from being fooled, from abandoning their usual kindness and caring and investing in deceit, cruelty, and denial.  I wanted to welcome them back to the greatness I know was within them.  I wanted them to re-join that land of love and reason and sanity.

 

It’s hard to let go of friends.  I had created a comfortable blanket of community that felt safe.  Moving ahead into deeper joy, I have realized, may mean leaving behind those who are not ready yet for more personal joy in their own lives.  I can’t wait for them to get ready, to come along, to be ready when I am ready.   We’re ready in our own time.

 

And so today, I let go. I feel the same pain I did when I said good-bye to trapping myself waiting for my mom to be ready to come along, to return to the land of love where joy existed, where the future was created, where loving communion in relationship was, where peace was waiting for us to embrace.

 

I have built a tribe of positive and growing people around me.  We will march into the future together, hand-in-hand, looking for and creating what’s good.  I will not be waiting for those whose timing is different than mine.  Everyone has his or her own time.  I will not stop loving them.  I will still stop relating to them.  I will not stop welcoming them into my life.

 

But I will no longer wait for them to catch up.  I will love them the way they are, and wish them the best, and when they are ready and wanting to come along to the land of bliss, where fear, anger, blaming, discrimination, racism, hatred, scarcity, and needing to win by making others lose, does not exist, they will be received in my embrace.

 

So let me state this:  I believe Black Lives Matter (because they do).  I believe All Lives Matter (because they do).  I believe in the goodness of our police (super-servants!).  I believe that police officers, like any of us, should receive the gift of confrontation with compassion and guidance when they are hurting others.  I believe we can save our planet even while many others seem to lack awareness of how they are destroying it.  I will care for the sick that others are making ill. I will encourage the downtrodden, support those wanting not to go it alone, and love those open to receiving my love. 

 

I will see and support the lovers that notice how important their gifts and talents are to others who are in need.  I celebrate generosity and empathy, dedication, and service to humanity.

 

I believe Biden will work with diligence to unify us as a country, and many of us will join him because cooperating feels better than fighting.  There will be many who will not join this movement, and that is their right.  I will respect their need for more lessons to find out their fears are unfounded, and that rejecting and judging others will not get them what they need. I will not attack them, berate them, or expect them to be someone they’re not.

 

I let go of the hurts I have caused others this past year, knowing love has always been my intent, even though at times poorly expressed.  I let go of those who have rejected me.  I will not demand they understand me.  And I will not demand they explain themselves so I can understand them.  I will share with those who like to share.  I will forgive others whether they forgive me or not.  I will respectfully stand for truth when others don’t care.

 

I know who I am.  I know I am love.  I know I am growing and imperfect.  I know I make mistakes, and forgive myself for them.  I will not try to win people over to a better life, although I will remain open to supporting them when they are ready for it.

 

I judge no one.  I respect everyone, especially those I do not understand or who do not care about me.  We're all on our own path.  Just as I accept my own failings, I accept the failings of others as well.  I do not take their opinions personally.  I know when they see me clearly and when they don’t.  They are not here to please me.  I am here to own with honesty the wholeness of who I am, with or without their approval.  

 

I am ready to move on.  I join with enthusiasm those who seek love, fairness, integrity, respect, honesty, compassion, and truth.  I am raising the level of vibration of my tribe.  Some will drop out.  New ones will join.

 

I release you from needing to please me.  I take responsibility for my own mission, behaviors, and feelings.   I will stand up when I see people hurting others, but I will reject no one.  I am one with all, not better than or worse than anyone.  I choose happiness, and link arms with all who want to walk this path with me.

 

I love you, and that will never change.  My heart has grown bigger this year.  And it will grow bigger yet in the year to come.  I hope many of you will join me.  The journey can be easier if we trek it together.  

Love,

David