Psychology is "the study of the human mind, and how it influences behavior."
This is how I discovered judgement is folly.When studying the background of Osama Bin Laden (who grew up in extraordinary violence and saw this as his only choice to be a major influencer to please his god), his future behavior was quite predictable, and a reflection of what any of us may have chosen under the same unbearable conditions.
Once one understands Adolf Hitler's upbringing (ex: Hitler ran away from home at age 5 to escape the abuse he later repeated inflicting on others), it becomes clear he could not become anything else than he was, as would any of us being subjected to the same challenges.
For those who have studied Donald Trump's history, it is clear that his choices in behavior could not be anything else from what we see, again, as would be the case for any of us raised under those conditions. (Ex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp_Ew98D4OM )
Those of us who act strangely, as well as those who cannot even recognize abusive or disrespectful behavior, are all products of our environment.
If you grew up being taught compassion, empathy, integrity and honesty, it is likely reflected in your behavior now. Those who were not as fortunate as you require we use that compassion, empathy, integrity and honesty to understand, not reject or attack, someone who could not be anyone else.
It is sometimes these radical differences in how our environment shapes us that make it difficult to understand someone who thinks or acts so differently from us.
Most decisions are not made rationally, but emotionally. Many of us try to understand someone through logic, but we get a lot further ahead in understanding someone when we focus on the emotional basis for their thinking. Most of us miss understanding others because of this.
Understanding other people requires emotional intelligence more than intellectual intelligence. If we do not understand someone's emotions, we will not likely understand their thinking or their behavior.
So instead of becoming enraged by people who act out with manipulative or unlawful/abusive behavior, find ways to understand what motivates them to do so.
And keep in mind, that those people who judge you suffer from the same dilemma that challenges you - they have not taken the time to understand you emotionally. Many of us do not have patience to do this work, which is why humans often miss each other like ships in the night.
What this means is that everybody deserves our grace. (Even you deserve your own grace.) When we have doused our lives, and the lives of others, with enough grace, we will stop judging/attacking, and finally experience the inner peace we are seeking.
