One of the greatest challenges of a psychologist is negotiating a way to help people let down the defenses that protect their denial of reality, so they can embrace the world as it is and resolve the maladies associated with not living fully in the real world where problems are solvable.
Over the years, I have observed an increase in these denial defenses, a sign that people are being overwhelmed with fears that their lives are out of control.
Remaining in denial has had devastating consequences, not just for individuals, but for our society as well.
Fires, floods, tornadoes, record heat, hurricanes, pummeling rain storms, rising insurance premiums to cover the damage, all on the increase, are not yet enough to pierce our fear-fed defenses of the truth about climate change.
I've noticed there's a large segment of our society that is blaming President Biden for rising gas prices, seemingly content to remain in denial that the president, whether a Republican or a Democrat, does not control the factors effecting gas prices, while giving a pass to those in Congress who do have power to influence these costs but don’t. Choosing ignorance has a cost.
Gun violence continues in the wake of fear that the loss of the potential need for a gun (or enjoying the entertainment of such) overrides the right of more than 45,000 Americans to live.
Although research has shown time and time again that limiting access to abortion does not reduce the number of abortions (it usually delays them to later in the term and then are performed in less sanitary and more dangerous conditions), our society faces a renewed challenge to ignore what is real to perpetuate what is false. Already having the highest maternal mortality rate of any country in the western world (by more than double), we seem content to expand the risk to mothers and increase that mortality rate even further. There has been plentiful testing and real world experience to show us what strategies really reduce abortions, but we choose not to use them.
As I write this, we are in the midst of the Hearings on the Riot of January 6, 2021, and we will each have the opportunity to choose whether we will stand for truth substantiated by facts, or “truth” we make up without evidence to support it.
I have often been amazed at the level of pain required to motivate humans to reconsider their denial and realize it’s not working for them. Convincing people that facing the truth is the way out of their dilemmas requires finding a way to support them in overcoming the fears that lock them into self-destruction.
I believe that supporting people that are in fear and showing them a less painful way out of implosion is a more effective choice than simply waiting for the pain to increase enough for us to change.
Most parents are familiar with the pain of watching their children make mistakes in judgment due to their lack of information or support, which is often rejected by the offspring of well-meaning parents. This frustration is shared by the empaths of the world who face the same challenge of dealing with the powerlessness to help their friends and neighbors out of self-created despair.
Challenges are inevitable, but suffering is optional. May we develop the emotional maturity to listen, care, and respond to the fears within us and in those around us that are caught in the delusion of believing that remaining protective of our prejudices will lead to satisfaction. Being informed or uninformed are choices, determined mostly whether we are guided by love of the truth or fear of it.
As a psychologist, I experienced that only a small percentage of the population had the inner strength or support to confront the fears that kept them isolated, anxious, and depressed. So it is with voters who either choose a victim and/or blaming role as a more desirable alternative to actually believing that the truth can set them free.
The question is not that the truth is that illusive; the question is whether it is important enough for us to pursue.
The good news is this: Although we have limited ability to set others free from their fear and pain, we have the power to set ourselves free from it, and that is our primary responsibility. I applaud the thousands of individuals who I had the privilege and honor to help through the process of shifting from ineffective choices to effective ones. My heart is full of gratitude for their courage, and how their fierceness has inspired me to remain open to the truth.
I have witnessed the miracles of embracing integrity and the liberation it brings, and I share with all of you the relief, utter joy, and personal power experienced from being real with each other, of risking rejection to unshackle ourselves from self-delusion, and experience the peace and fulfillment of life that comes from living in the real world.
I bow to your magnificence, and how you make the world a better place for me to live. Your love does not go unappreciated.
Blessings,
David
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